Health
Concerns and History
Near-sighted,
Depression, Heart, Diabetes, NPH, Old Age
Near
Sightedness
In the fourth grade
(age 10), my teacher noticed that I could not read the blackboard even if I sat
right next to it. My vision was 20/400. I wore glasses from that time until
cataract surgery in my 80s. Not seeing well early on explains why I do not recognize
and remember faces and do not enjoy games and sports. I (and my
parents) had no idea that I could not see.
Glasses were a big
problem. I was constantly breaking them. I was the kid with the band-aid
wrapped around the nose piece holding the pieces together. We could not afford
a spare pair or did not think of it. I lost my glasses at the 1950 Jamboree, so
I missed seeing the sights.
When I joined the
Army, one of the options was to go to aircraft mechanic school and try out for
helicopter pilot training at Ft. Rucker. I knew my eyes would be an
obstacle, but since I already had a pilot license, there was a chance for an
exemption—no such luck. Officers could qualify if their vision was not
too bad, but enlisted men could not. I became an excellent mechanic and got
lots of flying, so I enjoyed my Army time.
In retrospect, I was
much too nearsighted, even with glasses. Near Chicago, where I learned to fly,
the lake was always there to indicate East, and the roads and farms are laid
out in a grid., so there is no way to get lost. In Boston, it was horrible. Too
much haze, random topography, and heavy air traffic. I got lost a couple of
times, getting back to Hanscom Field, and scared myself. I gave up flying
and took up sailing.
Depression
From Junior High until well past Grad School, I suffered
from depression S. I lost 21 years of a normal life of
joy, pleasure, accomplishment, and satisfaction that most people have in their
lives. I was
raised to be a virgin nerd. Groomed to go to MIT instead of becoming a
person.
A doctor who signed
off my flight physical noticed a tiny bulge in my abdomen that needed to be
fixed. I lived alone (Marietta, GA) and had to spend a week in the
hospital. Not fun.
Gall
Bladder
I had several
gallstone attacks with excruciating stomach pains over the years. I finally had
the gall bladder removed in Tinton Falls. No more episodes after that, but I
still suffer a bit if I have a fatty meal (such as a pizza).
Pneumonia
I have been
hospitalized several times with fever, vomiting, and other vague symptoms.
These were thought to be pneumonia and went away with antibiotics.
Heart
Hospital blood tests
in Tinton Falls showed that I had a heart attack sometime in the past. I did
not remember having one, but I failed a nuclear stress test. I have been on
heart medicine daily, and my blood pressure has continued to climb. A few years
ago, I took another stress test, failed it badly, and had an angiogram (looking
at the flow inside the heart arteries). Three of the five arteries are
clogged, and part of the heart muscle is damaged. I sometimes feel a twinge
across my chest but have no other continuing symptoms. The twinges have been
more frequent as I age. I have been to the ER several times lately, but they
did not find any further damage. My father died of a heart attack (at age 45).
Most likely, I will, too.
Diabetes
My level of blood
sugar has been stable but too high. I take Metformin pills, not insulin.
The cause is obesity. My weight should be below 180,
but I cannot get it down there. I love to eat too much and too often.
Another effect of
obesity is Sleep Apnea. My breathing would stop for short intervals several
times a night. The lack of oxygen makes me tired during the day. I have used a
CPAP machine and mask most nights for 15 years. Apnea is not life-threatening.
I can go for extended periods (in the hospital or on vacation) without using a
mask. After three emergency hospitalizations for a collapsed left lung, I
stopped using the machine.
NPH
Normal
Pressure Hydrocephalus caused me to fall several times a week. It was one
reason we moved from NJ to get better care, have fewer responsibilities, and be
closer to John and Na. We did not know why I was falling, and it took years of
testing to eliminate all the other potential causes. NPH causes walking gait
problems leading to falls. It is too much fluid that surrounds the brain
and spine. I had a shunt (drain and valve) installed that removes the excess
liquid into a tube under the skin into the abdomen. I have only fallen once
since the operation.
Old Age
I advise against it. Youth is much better.
Here is a TED talk on how
to live longer.
My mother, her
sister, and her mother (my grandmother) all suffered and died from Early
Onset Alzheimer's disease. A horrible disease that left them bedridden and
demented for decades. So far, I have no symptoms except slowness of thought and
poor short-term memory attributed to aging and NPH, not Alzheimer's. I never
could do rote memory
things, so that is not age-related.
My eyesight has
deteriorated over the years. At first, it was corrected by bifocal glasses and
later by the replacement lenses for cataracts. Since the new lenses
are fixed for far focus, I still need bifocals or reading glasses. My
eyesight continues to deteriorate with age. I can drive safely and enjoy TV,
but I do not see without strain (near or far). I can read the Sunday Washington
Post OK, but I cannot then go on and read the Sunday NY Times without a break.
I can see that a bird is brown but cannot tell if its beak is short or long.
Reading a book becomes painful after a while. Reading with a Kindle Paperwhite
or laptop PC is much better because I can increase the brightness and size of
the print. I now use three pairs of glasses: far vision, computer screen at
27", and reading 8" away.
Hearing loss is
another effect of aging. I have Costco ($1500/pair) hearing aids that help with
high frequencies. They are an uncomfortable irritation in the ear canal, so I
do not wear them except in group situations and restaurants. I do not need them
to hear the TV or music if Betsy does not mind the loudness. The hearing aids
have Bluetooth to connect to my smartphone (for both calls and music), but that
is unreliable. Regular earbuds work much better and do not interfere with the
aids.
ED is also common in
old age. I take 20mg of Tadalafil (Cialis) along with 0.8 mg Flomax daily,
which treats ED and prostate problems.
I had UroLift
surgery to help with the prostate. UroLift is little ties, similar to those
that hold price tags on garments, that hold the prostate tissue away from the
urethra. For many years, I have been wearing Depends. When I have to go, I have
to go urgently. The Tadalafil/Tamsulosin daily works to let me get through most
nights without having to get up to pee.
Contrary to the expectations of our kid's
generation, old folks still enjoy and need the pleasure, closeness, and
companionship of sex. Sex, Joy, Pleasure,
Fun, Excitement, Satisfaction, Health. Lack of physical sexual
intercourse is by far the most horrible cruelty of old age. I suspect lack of
sex is the direct cause of many suicides.
Old age -- avoid it.
Recent
Mini-Stroke
(8/19/2020) I woke up Wednesday at 5:30 as usual after a good sleep. I had
trouble walking straight in the hall. I did the regular morning feeding Kitty
and Puppy but had to hold on to the counters to keep from falling and felt
nausea. Betsy called 911, and the medics took me away at 6 AM. The ER gave me
nausea medication, and that worked. They could not provide me clot-breaking
drugs because that has a 4.5-hour maximum limit. I could have been asleep
earlier if a clot formed. They did a ton of stroke diagnostic tests, blood
work, and 2 CT scans of my head (with and without contrasting agent). My only
symptom was a "lack of coordination and equilibrium," one of many
signs of a stroke.
The next morning, after a fitful night (mostly watching TV),
I was completely symptom-free and passed all the tests for stroke. I did not
feel fine, but my coordination and equilibrium were OK. They wanted to do an
MRI and spent the day trying to get a neurologist that could reset my NPH shunt. After a good night, I was feeling fine and again
passed all the tests. They took another CT scan and sent me home. I probably
had a TIA (mini-stroke), a small clot or bleed in the brain that cleared itself
without damaging brain tissue. I recently (1/28/2021) had a similar episode. A
long nap made it go away, but I still am a bit unsteady. The prospect of more
TIA and heart concerns prompted our move to Riderwood.
Collapsed
Lung 1 (3/3/2021) I woke up at 3:45 Wednesday morning with a
throbbing pain in my left chest and upper arm. I took two regular aspirin as I
believed it to be a heart attack. It was not sharp, so I did not take a nitro
pill. I fed the puppy and kitty and made my breakfast thinking the pain would
go away. It got worse. Betsy called 911. The EMTs were here in minutes and
agreed it was a heart attack. They rushed me to Shady Grove Hospital, where
they have heart facilities. The emergency room gave me an additional blood
thinner shot, did a heart workup, took a chest X-Ray, and rushed me to Heart
Catheterization surgery. The heart doctor halted the preparation because the
chest X-Ray showed a collapsed lung, not a heart attack (the symptoms are
almost the same). A lung doctor put a chest tube (a short needle attached to a
suction device) to draw out the extra air between the chest wall and the lung.
The pain relief was immediate, and my breathing returned to normal in minutes.
After two nights of observation, I was released. The doctor said it was likely
that I would have another collapsed lung in the future and would then require a
surgical repair. Another CT scan a few weeks later showed no new symptoms. We
initiated the move to Riderwood.
Vertigo (7/19/2021) I woke up at 2 AM Monday with the room waving
around whenever I opened my eyes. I went back to sleep and got up at 5 AM. I
could not walk without holding on to something and being nauseous, but no pain.
I thought it was another stroke. Betsy pulled the cord, and the Riderwood EMT
arrived immediately to take care of me. 911 folks came minutes later and took
me across the road to the White Oak Hospital (a 3-minute trip with siren
screaming). The hospital is brand new with every modern convenience and design,
but some growing pains administratively and understaffed. The nurses were
excellent, efficient, competent, and pleasant. The Doctors and Administrators
were less so. I felt extremely sick and helpless. They gave me two drugs that
did take away some nausea. A chest X-ray showed a small amount of pneumonia but
not enough to produce symptoms. They took 2 CT scans (with and without
contrast) that showed no bleeds or blockages. Later in the morning, they gave
me a Valium pill, and all
my symptoms and sickness disappeared. They kept me there the next day for
observation, and I was fine. The Neurologist theorized that I had mild Benign
Positional Vertigo and no stroke.
Fall (1/7/2022), I fell and fractured a rib and dislocated my
shoulder. 911 whisked me to MedStar Montgomery in Olney, where they put
the arm back in place for home care and outpatient PT and OT here at Riderwood.
The whole thing was excruciating and debilitating.
Collapsed Lung 2 (2/7/2022), I awoke with chest pain from a
collapsed lung. 911 whisked me across the road to White Oak Adventist, where
they put in a chest tube to suction out the air and fluid in the
chest cavity. An excruciating procedure in the same area of the
dislocation.
Both hospitals were
wonderful in every way. I had the most competent, kind, and efficient care at
both despite the ravages of the COVID spike. (I cannot adequately express my
ire at the nasty cultists spreading death, pain, inhumanity, and lack of citizenship
by refusing vaccination.)
(2/10/2022) Betsy is
making all the follow-up appointments for my recovery. All I am doing now
is sleeping it off. Thank goodness we are at Riderwood with so many
services close by. And for John and Na, who give us so much help and support.
Collapsed Lung 3 (10/7/2022), I awoke at 3 AM with chest
pain from a collapsed lung. 911 whisked me with siren screaming to Holy Cross
Hospital, where they put in a chest tube to suction out the air and fluid
in the chest cavity. Since this was the third time a collapsed left lung,
they kept me in the hospital for further treatment. They poured talcum powder
in a water slurry through the chest tube into the space between the lung and
the chest wall. The powder irritates the lung and causes scarring that sticks
the lung to the wall to prevent a complete collapse the next time an internal
leak happens.
Cold, Flu, Collapsed
Lung 4 (10/30/2023) After a
couple of weeks of a head cold and flu, I went to Dr. Sweetser. She thought it
was just a virus and would clear itself. She prescribed an antibiotic because
my left lung did not sound right and might have pneumonia. Later in the week, I
was 911’ed to the hospital because I was too weak to get off the toilet.
They found a leak in the outer layer of the lung (the cause of collapsed lung).
After a few days of drip antibiotic, they released me to go home. I arrived at
dinnertime and was 911’ed back to the ER by 1 AM (11/8/2023 ?) for
exactly the same reason. This time, they detected fluid in the lung and drained
1.2 liters, and took all kinds of X-rays and blood cultures.
Pneumonia (11/20/2023) – Arbor Ridge, Riderwood I
was released to short-term rehab with parapneumonic
pleural effusion and empyema. The initial antibiotic produced violent
spastic palsy. The replacement gives a headache. After 20 days in Arbor Ridge,
part of Riderwood, I was sent home.
After a few days of
freedom, I tested positive for Covid and had all the symptoms. After 10 days of
lockdown in our apartment, I had a few days until I got rebound Covid and
another 5 days quarantine. Riderwood was very good to us during lockdown be
furnishing good meals bring up our mail.
I am still (3/5/2024)
suffering from mild heart and lung symptoms. I get short of breath just walking
to the dining room.
(4/1/2024) I wore a
heart monitor for 2 weeks that showed I now have Afib, rapid fluttering of the
heart 28% of the time. X-rays also show a lingering infection in the left lung.
I get very tired and out of breath just walking a short distance. I take Eliquis
to prevent stroke and blood clots.
8/14/2024 Covid
Incident
I caught Covid August
14,2024. Betsy and I did the whole quarantine thing for two rounds, but I still
had it and went to the hospital with multiple serious complications. I was released to Arbor Ridge, the Riderwood
Rehab Center for OT and PT. I am still having the effects of Covid and the
weakness of being sedentary. I am supposed to go home tomorrow with help from
temporary health aides and regular Riderwood OT and PT to build back strength
and mobility. John, Na, Mary, and Betsy have done wonders to help me and keep
up my spirits.
I am 88 and show it. I am very weak and easily
tired. I have clogged arteries in my heart with congested heart failure and
AFIB. My lungs are weak and easy targets for pneumonia and collapsed lung. I am
strong enough to walk around the apartment with a Rollator and do all the
chores of daily living. I have good balance, but I don't dare fall. I am still
sharp enough to win arguments and do computer work, but I have many lapses of
memory and grasp of reality.
It tires me to talk on the phone or have long
conversations (except those where I do the talking). I have given up helping
other organizations with their computer work as I cannot be a dependable member
of their teams.
I have spent a lot of time and effort on the
web pages about me https://melhaas.lwbook.net and
would like to leave that as a legacy in hopes that you would read and
understand it someday. It's long and tedious, but that's what I wanted to say.
I'm off to dinner, proudly wearing my
Harris/Walz button.
Death
I have already decided what kind of death I
will have. That is if something horrible and painfully drawn out doesn't happen
to me first. And I will not need anyone's help to achieve it. My family knows
not to interfere. I have no desire to live to 100 and beyond. I didn't even
care to live until my mid-80s. I don't care for disease and organ failure and
pain from head to toe. No sex. Doctor appointments drain our savings, fighting
with insurance companies. That is not life for me. I will die at a generous
age, but I will not lie in a bed with a diaper on waiting for some healthcare
worker to change me so I can wait for them to do it again tomorrow. That's just
not for me. I would like to say goodbye to this world on my own accord. After
all, I never had a choice about being born, so I should at least have a choice
about my death. I am satisfied I
have lived my best life, and it's time for me to move on.
12/15/2024 9:51 AM